Blinded by hairy bum cheeks!

Vanessa, this one's for you:    One day, Sam came home from work and proceeded to tell me about a person who lives in a spot close to the office on the way into the rv park we live in.  He was on his motorcycle and only caught a glimpse, but he said the person was laying out in the sun and mostly what he saw was a pair of hairy bum cheeks.  We were both discussing the possibilities of what that could mean.  Was it a man or a woman?  If it was a man that would be scary because of the bare bum cheeks.  If it was a woman that's really scary, too, because of the hairy bare bum cheeks! ;)  Anyway, he didn't see anymore of the mysterious bum cheeks again after that.  That is.....until yesterday!!!  Yeah, we were coming home from the store and both of us were looking in the same direction and lo and behold there was a man in lean shape (picture long-distance runner), I'm thinking around mid-30s early 40s.  I didn't get the best look at his face because I was too busy being shocked at his shiny rainbow thong speedo!!!!!!!!!  He was outside washing his vehicle just a singin' with his bum cheeks hangin' out!  Sam's reaction was pretty funny.  He was like  Aaaaawwwwwww!  GROSS! NO!  I just couldn't stop laughing!  I'm telling you that people here dress like they are at the beach.  Not, mind you, that I think people ever have the right to dress like that even at the beach.  To put it another way, why on earth should I have to look at that?!?!?!?!  If this is a free country, then what about my poor eyes' freedoms?  Aaaaaahahahhahahhaha.  I'm still laughing pretty hard writing this.  It was such a funny situation.  The other thing is, we almost took a spot across from that guy!  OH, to be saved by the grace of the Lord from such a view! --- My name is Shelly Dyess and I approve this message.